The Father's Son by Jim Sano - Diocese of Norwich Book Discussion Group
A Study Guide
Chapter 1
1) What does the book introduction/ dedication tell you about the author?
2) Which characters did you like or dislike based on this chapter's introduction?
3) What is your opinion of the main character David?
4) What is strange about the description of David’s ex-wife and children?
5) How do you feel about the author’s writing style at this point?
Chapter 2
1) What does David's family description say about him as a father?
2) What role does it seem Izzy has in David's life?
3) What place does David’s family have in his life currently?
4) What does David's interaction with Kevin show us a glimpse of?
5) How is David dealing with his feelings up to this point in time?
Chapter 3
1) How would you describe David's emotional status?
2) Why is David emotionally unavailable to Jillian?
3) What significance do the names of the three levels of the nightclub hold?
Chapter 4
1) What do we assume about David's upbringing based on his description of the song “The Boxer”?
2) What do we learn about David's mother here?
3) How does the author portray Kathleen?
4) What do you think are David's feelings for Jillian?
5) Why do you think Jillian is being so cautious?
Chapter 5
1) Why did David feel compelled to walk the basketball back to its owner?
2) What is it that made Davis curious about Tom?
3) Why did Tom share his schedule with David?
4) What piece does not fit in this chapter?
5) How did Tom know David was competitive?
Chapter 6
1) Why do you think David went to play basketball?
2) Why did the author include so much basketball description here?
3) How did Tom know David's last name?
4) Were those details referring to #3 believable or not?
5) Why was David curious about in Tom?
Chapter 7
1) What place do you think Izzy has in David's life?
2) What do we learn about David's father?
3) What caused David to wonder if his coworkers were really happy?
4) How does David explain Tom to Jillian?
5) What was the significance of the movie You Can't Take it With You?
Chapter 8
1) Why do you think the author includes the reference to the events of 911?
2) Do you find the basketball details helpful or too much?
3) Why do you think the bartender knew Tom?
4) What role does Dempsey have in this chapter?
5) What does David's lack of recognition of Jillian say about his feelings for her?
Chapter 9
1) Why does David dislike Sean Quigley so much?
2) What's David's response to Kevin's admission of always feeling empty?
3) What role does trooper play in David's life?
4) How are David and Walshy different?
Chapter 10
1) What do we learn about Jillian?
2) Why was David nervous to see his ex-wife?
3) How do you feel about David as a parent up to this point?
4) How does David feel about his ex-wife?
5) What surprised you in this chapter?
Chapter 11
1) Why was David disappointed when Tom had to make a date change?
2) Where do you think David's trust issues stem from?
3) How is the crowd at Dempsey’s significant in David's life?
4) What role do you think Jillian has in David's life?
Chapter 12
1) What does David like about Tom?
2) What do you think happened to David's father and brother?
3) what damage has David suffered up until this point in his life?
4) What statement can you make about David's relationships?
Chapter 13
1) What defense mechanism does David employ?
2) How does David feel as he watched Tom play basketball from his office window?
3) Why does David run by Dempsey’s and look in?
4) What does David's behavior in this chapter say about his life?
Chapter 14
1) Why did Jillian seek out Father Tom?
2) Why did the author include so many Catholic mass details in this chapter?
3) What interests you about Angelo's character?
4) Why did the author include the topic of pedophile priests?
5) How did David's mother's opinion of the Catholic Church affect David?
Chapter 15
1) Why did David dismiss the mystery Riddle as a joke?
2) Why did David miss Father Tom's company?
3) Why did Tom being a priest bother David so much?
4) Why did the author include philosophy here- “what is truth?”
5) What is Tom's analysis of David being uncomfortable with their discussion?
Chapter 16
1) Why is the Hamlet line “To thine own self be true” significant here?
2) How are David's relationships at work changing?
3) What do we learn about David and Jimmy's relationship?
4) What do we learn about Kathleen?
5) Were Kathleen and the kids David's dream come true? why or why not?
Chapter 17
1) Who do you think is getting into David's apartment?
2) Why do you think Father Tom sets down ground rules for healthy discussions?
3) Does Toms pontificating on intellectual reasoning draw you into the story or turn you off?
4) How do we all find more freedom in God's plan?
5) Are the messages left for David something to be feared or embraced in your opinion?
Chapter 18
1) What makes David take out his mom's file box?
2) What do we learn about David's parents relationship?
3) What did we learn about Jimmy and David's relationship?
4) How were David's parents portrayed as people?
Chapter 19
1) How did Jimmy feel about their old neighborhood?
2) What are your thoughts on Mo and his behavior?
3) Do you think Tom Collins is a good influence or a bad one on Jimmy?
4) Why do you think there's so much description of the armored truck and its safety features?
5) Why do you think David is not connected to his other siblings after all these years?
Chapter 20
1) Why is David not scared or nervous about his safety with continuous break-ins?
2) Why was David so uncomfortable with Tom being a priest?
3) How does Father Tom and David's discussion about working for a corrupt church fit into this story?
4) What was David's response to “Do you think God is real”?
5) How does Father Tom put David’s mind at ease about himself and about the church?
Chapter 21
1) What role do you think Luke is going to play in David's life?
2) What do we learn about Father Tom's past?
3) What do we know about Sister Helen?
4) Why is the coffee house Q & A a good setting for David?
5) What was Father Tom’s answer to the frequently asked question, “Why do we need religion to be spiritual”?
Chapter 22
1) Why did David feel alone and lonely?
2) How did the seeing a man spit in Father Tom's face affect David?
3) How did Father Tom's teachable moment on women affect David and Luke?
4) What surprised you about Father Tom's talk on sex and women?
5) How would you explain the meaning of the quote from Saint John Paul II “The dignity of every woman is the duty of every man”, to a fellow Catholic?
Chapter 23
1) Why did David finally start to see Tom as a friend?
2) Why was Tom worried about Jillian?
3) Why did Kathleen tell David his lifestyle was not helping with Amy?
4) Who do you think is getting into David's apartment?
5) Why was David so scared and distraught?
Chapter 24
1) What happy childhood memories does David remember?
2) What is Jimmy's attitude based on the diary entries David reads?
3) Do you find the history of the gospels helpful in this chapter? Why or why not?
4) Why isn't David concerned about someone breaking into his apartment?
5) Why does Tom see in David that makes him to ask David to continue to coach?
Chapter 25
1) Why does Tom continuously question Luke's motives?
2) What is the difference between self-esteem and self-worth?
3) “We all need to be able to tolerate some level of discomfort to grow” is this statement true based on your own life experiences?
4) Why does Luke want Tom to talk to Gabby?
Chapter 26
1) What was the significance of Columbus Day weekend for David?
2) Why did David feel alone in the middle of his interactions with longtime acquaintances?
3) Why was the Red Sox game such a significant memory for David?
4) What role does Moe play in Jimmy's life?
5) How is David changing as a person?
Chapter 27
1) Why did David's mother tell her children David's father was a bad influence?
2) Why is David angry at his father?
3) What is the significance of the note left under the veil and cloth?
4) How are Pete and Andy at Dempsey’s similar to Peter and Andrew the apostles?
5) What Catholic teachings surprised you in this chapter?
Chapter 28
1) Why does David doubt he really knew Jimmy?
2) How does Abby's health issues affect the whole family?
3) Why did David hunt for Father Tom until he found him at the cemetery?
4) Who do you think Corlie Ann is to Father Tom?
5) Why do you think this is still so raw for Father Tom after all these years?
Chapter 29
1) How does Father Tom react to David's question, “Why are you giving up your life for the church?”
2) What was the purpose of the MLK quote in this chapter?
3) Do you think the explanation of the differences between Christian and Catholic churches was relevant? Why or why not?
4) How would you describe David's faith at this point in time?
5) What did you learn about Church history you didn't know before?
Chapter 30
1) Why do you think David walks and runs so much?
2) What does the statement, “everything in church has meaning” mean?
3) Why is the stained-glass window significant?
4) What do David's revelations about his father lead Father Tom to believe?
5) How are the adult David and the child David similar?
Chapter 31
1) Why was David disappointed there were no new surprises left in his apartment?
2) Were you surprised by Sister Helen's display of affection towards David? Why or why not?
3) Who do you think actually donated the money to the school?
4) What is the significance of David's father's favorite book The Odyssey ?
5) What do you think ultimately happened to David's father?
Chapter 32
1) Why does David call Tom out/ expose him when he didn't want to share where he was?
2) “I had mistaken infatuation and romance and a big dose of egoism for real love”, how is this statement by Father Tom true in our society today?
3) When Father Tom said “she didn't deserve the path I worked so hard to lead her down”, what was your reaction?
4) David thanks Tom for pushing him to confront his true feelings, but why is David thankful?
5) How would you describe David and Tom's relationship at the end of this chapter?
Chapter 33
1) How has David’s dating affected his teenage daughter?
2) How did Father Toms conversation on sex and how to treat women come in handy for David?
3) What is David starting to realize about being a parent?
4) What does the news that David's father is alive mean to David?
5) How is David's faith going to change?
Chapter 34
1) Why is David angry? What's the root of his anger?
2) What does Kevin Walsh force David to deal with?
3) How did David know Angelo knew him?
4) “Real men live through Christ’s example”, is what Angelo told David his father taught him. Why is this ironic?
5) How does David's father's letter change everything for David?
Chapter 35
1) Why is David feeling confused?
2) How did the Divine Comedy help David understand more about his own life?
3) How did David learn humility is not weakness?
4) “Jesus joins us in our suffering to help us find a way out”- What lesson does his teach David?
5) What discomfort did David have to tolerate to move forward and find peace?
Chapter 36
1) How does David feel about his life when compared to his father's?
2) Why does David describe all the bad things in his life when Luke asked him how he was feeling?
3) “Most people don't see there self- worth through God's eyes”- Explain the significance of this statement.
4) Why does David have to learn that true love doesn't focus on itself but on others?
5) How does David's life exemplify the problems in our culture today?
Chapter 37
1) How does the image of the stained glass window bring David hope?
2) What is the significance of the questions David asks God?
3) Why does David want to change at this point in the story?
4) How is Father Tom's description of prayer eye opening for David?
5) “I am not a man but a selfish frightened boy avoiding pain instead of dealing with it”- How is this revelation life changing for David ?
Chapter 38
1) What did the check David gave sister Helen really symbolize for him?
2) How does David's knowledge about the covenant of marriage change his relationship with Kathleen?
3) What did you learn about annulments?
4) Why is Father Tom's past from 20 years ago still an open wound that never healed?
5) Why is David thinking of contacting his father now?
Chapter 39
1) How has David changed as a father?
2) Why does David start to connect his worlds?
3) What details are missing about David's life in the letter he wrote to his father?
4) Why was the revelation David's mother had visited his father in prison so shocking?
5) Why do you think David was so emotional when meeting his dad?
Chapter 40
1) How has Kathleen handled David's behavior over the years and why?
2) How did David's kids become strangers to him?
3) What did David's coworkers model for him?
4) Why did David leave out the details about Kathleen in the kids when talking to his father?
5) Why did David ask himself what an authentic man of honor would do?
Chapter 41
1) Why did David ask Kathleen “How can you trust anything I say anymore?”
2) Why did Kathleen point out to David, “we didn't separate, you left.”?
3) Why is Kathleen's first concern the children?
4) Why does Kathleen need time to process all that David has shared?
5) What does this chapter teach us all about the covenant of marriage?
Chapter 42
1) Why did David leave out the details about his job when visiting his father?
2) How is David's behavior in total contrast to what they were teaching Amy about men and relationships?
3) Were you bothered that David went home and left Kathleen to explain his absence Christmas morning?
4) Why is it important for David to have Father Tom come to his house for Christmas Eve?
Chapter 43
1) What role does Izzy have in David's life?
2) Why was Kathleen teary eyed when she finally met Father Tom?
3) Why was David surprised by how much the Eucharist meant to Kathleen and Amy?
4) How did Kathleen react to Amy's trip to Italy?
5) Do you think the trip to Italy was an inexperienced father move?
Chapter 44
1) What is surprising about this statement? “Your father means a great deal to most of the men and guards in this prison.”
2) What was David's reaction to the news that his father had cancer in in advanced stage?
3) Why did David keep his distance from everyone as he worked on his father's release?
4) Why does David question God about his father's circumstances- “Why would God be this cruel to him?”
5) Why does David want to be a Catholic?
Chapter 45
1) How did you feel about the analogy “God is the ball in basketball”?
2) Did you find the explanation of the incarnation of Jesus as the new Adam and scripture reference as helpful in understanding your own faith?
3) Explain the statement “women are called to inspire not seduce”.
4) Why did David throw Corlie and Father Tom’s relationship in his face knowing it would hurt him?
5) Why was Father Tom calling out David when he had his own baggage and an uncomfortable past?
Chapter 46
1) What has helped David realize he needs help in getting his life back on track?
2) What does the phrase “the church is much larger inside than outside” mean?
3) What is the difference between spirituality and religion?
4) Why is this statement so profound?- “The key to the spiritual life is to understand it is God himself who seeks us and chooses us not the other way around.”
5) “I'm getting the idea that everything in church is intentional and has a meaning I didn't understand before” How is this statement a revelation for David?
Chapter 47
1) Did you think it was a good idea of her father Tom to council David? Why or why not?
2) Why does Jillian reappear in this chapter?
3) Why did David resist writing in the notebook?
4) Why did David resist thinking about what he wrote in his notebook?
5) What was the outcome of David's father's operation?
Chapter 48
1) Why is the sacrament of reconciliation described as the most misunderstood sacrament?
2) Why did David think God was angry and disappointed with humanity?
3) Was the example of David fixing his son's mistakes a good one? Why or why not?
4) Why is it so important to ask for God's forgiveness?
5) Why is forgiveness essential for all of us to be our best selves?
Chapter 49
1) Explain the meaning of this statement- “Our feelings come from our thoughts on our thoughts come from our beliefs.”
2) Where does David's confusion about the difference between being a winner and being respected originate from?
3) What is the root of David's resistance to share his notebook with Father Tom?
4) Why do we have to be uncomfortable to move forward at times?
5) What do you think God would say to David about his life right now?
Chapter 50
1) What role do you think trooper plays in David's life?
2) Where does David's competitive edge come from?
3) What do you think caused David's mom to become bitter an almost cold with David and his siblings?
4) How did the loss of Jimmy permanently scar David?
5) How does the imminent death of David's father change David's life?
Chapter 51
1) How did the catechesis on faith and reason/ the meaning of life/ the commandments/ morality/ sin/ forgiveness/ and dignity of life affect David?
2) Why is David now comfortable to ask questions about his faith?
3) Why did David enjoy the Wednesday and Friday night sessions with Father Tom so much?
4) Why did David decide to be honest with his father about his life and his feelings now?
5) Did you find the description of the parts of the mass helpful? Why or why not?
Chapter 52
1) How did Gianni change people's lives in prison?
2) Were you surprised that Gianni was ultimately innocent? Why or why not?
3) How did mass and Holy Communion change for David once he understood its meaning and purpose?
4) How is David’s story similar to the prodigal son?
5) What was David's reaction to his father's release and homecoming?
Chapter 53
1) Describe the reunion between Gianni and Angelo at David’s apartment?
2) How did Gianni's reaction to the consecration of the Eucharist affect David?
3) What was the significance of Gianni talking to his grandkids about mass that morning?
4) Why did Kathleen leave Trooper for David when David had left her with the kids?
5) What did Gianni tell David about Kathleen when David conveyed the Trooper story?
Chapter 54
1) How would you answer this question? Who are you at your very core?
2) Jesus taught us life on earth was about love, mercy, and forgiveness. How is David called to emulate that?
3) How did David feel after going to reconciliation?
4) Why did Jillian write the letter to David? and Why did she tell him to not contact her ever again?
5) What lessons about life and love did David learn from Jillian?
Chapter 55
1) How has living Holy Week with his father made it more meaningful for David?
2) What example did Gianni give David to help with his eucharis doubts?
3) How did David feel after the stations of the cross on Good Friday?
4) What was the significance of all the people in David's life showing up to the Holy Saturday vigil?
5) What was David's friend Kevin Walsh referring to when he said “I like what you have”?
Chapter 56
1) Why is David still not spending time with Kathleen?
2) What do you think was the author's point in not having Gianni reconciled with his other two children?
3) Why is David still unhappy with God?
4) What is the significance of David's caring for his father?
5) Why does David's father want to spend the last days of his life in Maine?
Chapter 57
1) Why do you think the author used so much Description when explaining the cottage?
2) How did Maggie explain to David what Catholic Hospice was?
3) Why did Gianni want to stop at the local Catholic Church?
4) How was the Bible verse in this chapter applicable and significant for David?
5) What ultimately moved David out of his comfort zone to spend time with his dad in Maine?
Chapter 58
1) Why had David never taken time to reflect on his life up until this point?
2) Why did David feel peaceful and not lonely or alone in Maine?
3) What was David's first experience of community while in Maine?
4) Why did David describe to Kathleen his time alone with his dying father as a gift?
5) How did you feel about Gianni’s comment on “our children being on loan to us” ?
Chapter 59
1) How do you explain the author's statement- “David had lived for someone else and it had changed him”?
2) What is the symbolism behind Gianni dying on the feast of the Assumption of Mary?
3) What was the significance of Sister Helen and the boys basketball team showing up for the funeral?
4) Why does David finally feel free?
5) How did you feel about David and Kathleen receiving their vows after the funeral?
Summation
1) What did you learn about your faith from this book?
2) What teaching from the church do you think this book explained well?
3) Would you recommend this book to someone? Why or why not?